Monday, December 7, 2009

Ladies, Would You Stay?



I tried but I just couldn't resist the infamous true life story of the man who denied his blackness. Tiger Woods, the famed world-class golfer managed to accumulate another "back nine" over the years...According to ABC's The View, 9 women have now come forth to claim that Tiger was their lover...He was clubbed by his wife Elin for one or two of them, now his wallet is open and he's bleeding ink. In fact it can't flow quickly enough.

The latest is that Tiger is currently re-modifying his prenup in order to save his marriage. Originally the prenup would have given Elin the right to $20 Million if there was a breakup after 10 years of marriage. however, all that's changed. Here's what a site (The Daily Beast by Gerald Posner) with intimate details of the current negotiations says:
"The lawyer familiar with the couple’s negotiations told The Daily Beast that Tiger also has agreed to shorten the original prenup to seven years from the date of marriage, meaning it will vest in another two. And the revised agreement provides for a staggered schedule of payments spread out over five years that could be worth upward of $75 million. So for Elin to collect $80 million, she’ll need to stay with Tiger another seven years, be a dutiful wife in showing up with him at social events and in public as if they were still the perfect couple, and sign a nondisclosure form that will prevent her from ever telling her story. Even if she lasts only two more years, she’ll still walk away with nearly twice what she was entitled to under the original prenup."



Now, it's a sad day when marriage has come to this. (Pictured 3 of the 9: Rachel Uchitel, Jaime Grubbs and Kalika Moquin)  The part that intrigued me is that this is the closest thing to a real life "Indecent Proposal" that I've seen. I remember thinking how can a man sell his wife for a million dollars? When I saw the movie. But this is even more surreal, because it's real life and it seems that Tiger thinks that money can buy everything and anything he wants...

However, I haven't heard any refusals just as yet.

Now I know this isn't a spiritual posting bursting with biblical tors and insights and that's on purpose because I believe we are familiar with the biblical basis for marriage. If not, I'll reserve that for a future teaching. In this segment however, I simply want to know would YOU stay for $80 Million if you were Tiger's wife? I'm not entering into a great moral debate on this one either, i really want to hear from the ladies on this one.

This topic is bound to breed controversy, so I'll tell you now, Anonymous replies are OK. I know that some may be embarrassed to share true thoughts with a name attached, but I think I'd rather have an honest assessment without a name than what you think someone else wants you to say (because of the expectation of others) with a name.

So that's that question: If you're Tiger's Wife (saved or unsaved) would you stay for another 7 years if that meant receiving $80,000,000? Remember your only 2 requirements: 1-be a dutiful wife in showing up with him at social events and in public as if they were still the perfect couple, and 2- sign a nondisclosure form that will prevent you from ever telling your story...

Blessed!

(I  hope you overlooked the spelling in a previous version-Thanks!)

31 comments:

  1. I even question is a NORMAL or sane man would even make an offer like this? I don't know...opinions, opinions, opionions...please?

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  2. God Bless you again Pastor Burnett,

    I'm going to be bold on this one and actually put my name. I'm also not going to get religious about this I'm going to take a practical business approach. I guess the media has made it clear that Tiger is a bit of a (for lack of better words) a "freak." They have also made it obvious that he is extremely self absorbed and believes that money can buy anything. I don't see him changing his extramarital activities.

    To answer the question, $80,000,000 is a lot of money. If my only job was to be a dutiful wife and keep his business secret in order to get $80,000,000 dollars than I would stay and keep my mouth shut. Of course, our personal marriage would be another story but out in the open I would be "Mrs. Woods."

    Here's the thing, I think that when women marry high profile people it's not all about love. They know that they have an image that they have to portray just as the person they are with has an image. The mentality is different of a woman of high status; her job is to make sure that she is keeping up with the image of her high profile husband. I think most of these wives understand that.

    On the other hand, I wouldn't see myself leaving "Tiger" anyway, not just because of the money. I would want to work out my marriage. But if Tiger is that self absorbed that he's going to bribe his own wife into staying with him then why not take the deal.

    Please don't judge me Pastor Burnett :) I'm just trying to keep it real.

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  3. That's what I'm talking about Ashley...keep it real and BELIEVE ME, I'm not even trying to judge any on this...

    I mean we know what the bible says and debateably what it also says about our options BUT like you I see a strange man here,..so thanks for the realness and I'll defend you if someone else judges also, I hope this can become a good conversation for many women to addres the issue in general...

    I'll tell you this, some women have stayed for much less than this...

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  4. He has really denies his blackness, it seems he doesnt find black women attractive either. Not that I agree with his sin but wudup wid dat?

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  5. I don't think Tiger was ever Black, he was just dark skinned and folk tried to claim him-LOL

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  6. Hello Pastor Burnett. I've been reading your blog for months now and have now decided to come out of lurkerville (smile).

    I agree with Sis. Ashley: this now has the appearance of a business transaction. I could not judge this on a spiritual level, because I don't know if Tiger or his wife have ever made a public confession of faith in Christ.

    Now...with that being said...what would I do as a woman? I'd stay with him and work on repairing the marriage. It would be tempting to stay JUST to get the money. But I have to ask myself if the extra money is worth 7 more years in a marriage that may exist in name only. And two beautiful children are involved now.

    I'd insist on intensive marriage counseling. And...I'd have no further marital relations with that nasty rascal until he agrees to get tested for HIV/STDs and produces a clean bill of health.

    If he remained unrepentant after a period of time I'd leave him quietly and take as much money as I could.

    Sis. K

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  7. As you said, people have stayed for less...many a wife has..Let's not just consider the money aspect...How many women stay with men for the "title of First Lady" and the "prestige" it holds...Have seen it happen in church over and over. The preachers cheat, the first lady's put up with up because of her position and the "real or perceived" power it holds...

    sorry, sure would...I don't think he is trying to bride her to stay he is a man that is trying to save his marriage and putting his money where his mouth is...Happens all the time in the forms of "cars, diamond rings, houses" whatever it is going to take to make momma happy...Kobe bought is wife a $5M ring, and probably whatever else she wants...She went and had another baby and I hear is pregnant with another...Where are they gonna go and who are they gonna marry?

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  8. I agree about the children. Take the money out of the equation, and there are too many unanswered questions. When they talked, did he say this was just the way he was, and there's no changing? Is a wife expected to continue to have marital relations with her husband when he continues to be unfaithful? Trust has gone right out the window...does she now need to hire a permanent investigator so she will know if it's safe to sleep with her own husband? No and no.

    There would have to be some serious repenting, and any wife can see that. She may love him with all her heart, but if it was me, I couldn't accept that this is just the way he is - live with it. That said, children are always better off with both a mother and father.

    1 million, 80 million...what's the difference? I just don't see the money being the issue. But to your question, would I stay with an unrepentant husband who expected marital relations as part of being a "dutiful wife" for a 80 mill payoff down the road? No.

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  9. Welcom all old and new commentors, your opinions are valued because I'm thinking this one through myself-LOL

    Well I know a man will give everything to not loose what he neglects and doesn't take care of at the point that he's about to loose it all.

    But I question whether Tiger is trying to save his family or simply manage the situation...I mean in 7 years, how old will his kids be? I ask because I don't know right off. What's special about 7 years that he's willing to pay so much or modify things so much?

    Why not say something like until the youngest child is in college? I mean if he was interested in anyone else's wellbeing in the family...

    BUT I heard an older Saint once say, "why should I leave the monetary things that I rightefully deserve?"

    Her man died, the mistresses got NOTHING and she got everything and lived (still living) quite a long time after him and happy.

    But at the same time isn't this a form of spousal abuse?

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  10. Now that leads to another question, and as Sis. K states we certainly don't know about any of these individuals "professions" of faith, however, if you as a godly woman is in the situation are you justified--------->>>>>>>
    Let me change this...does ONE woman have the same equivalent weight as NINE?

    I mean it's all bad anway but does nine women tell us that he has a problem or simply a superiority complex?

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  11. My question is how did it even come up that the prenup would be changed. Did she threaten to leave and he said "I will give you more money" ans she said "ok" or did she say "I will only stay if you give me more money".

    After thinking about it and asking myself, "how did this come about", would it be right for anyone to stay if money was deciding factor? If its about the family and trying to make it work thats great, the money is a BIG BONUS!

    Just a thought.

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  12. Now, I'm putting the shoe on the other foot also...I think a man will stay for that $80,000,000 no questions asked-LOL-LOL!!!

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  13. Another thought, as a pastor, I'm advising the family to do what's in the best interest of teh peace and safety of the family and in along with the best biblical instructions possible...HOWEVER, this situation poses and unusal amount of strain on an advisory relationship...

    Now, I know of women who have prayed their husbands through this sort of thing (with multiple women) but not everyone can stand that.

    Listen to Ringo Glen/Weeks Sham, and tell me what you think about marriage biblically? Is Ringo off base? From a biblical standpint, is marriage to last no matter what?

    I may make that part of a greater discussion if you feel that we need to take a deeper look at the subject all together. I have received a few questions before and it may be good to do a study.

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  14. Hello Pastor Burnett,

    I personally would like for you to delve deeper into the whole marriage/remarriage debate. I have done my own but have come across stumbling blocks because I understand both sides.

    I am a diligent follower of Ringo 4 Life on youtube and I will say that most of what he puts together I disagree with. He is against tithes and offering and he believes speaking in tongues is of the devil. When I looked at the series on Bishop Weeks it kind of messed me up for a little bit. I even asked my husband about it. Ringo went so far to say that anyone who is in an "adulterous marriage" that has never been married before should leave their spouse.

    I am married to a man that was previously married. He did the best he could to repair his previous marriage (even his ex wife can attest to that) but she was not having it. My husband and I are holy God fearing people and we are raising our children that way.

    Pastor Burnett I know that you are a true man of God so I know that you would be totally honest on this subject.

    I'll be waiting for that blog.

    Ashley

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  15. Ashley,

    You said:I am a diligent follower of Ringo 4 Life on youtube and I will say that most of what he puts together I disagree with.

    I was laughing at that. I like Ringo but he is biblically illiterate! He's got good practical sense but NO biblical understanding. If it was left up to him, women would be in a singular corner of the church, families would be destroyed and there would be no form of worship or support ofr the church. Other than that he seems to be the type of person that will live right and be sincere etc...but I agree with you!

    I'll put together a short on marriage, I think it would be good to look at. One are that I'll focus on will be the perpetual sin situation. The radicals teach it like Ringo that once the marriage is disolved and whoever gets married again is in sin perpetually etc and I can't see that biblically...in addition God is not a God of penalty when it comes to these crack heads, and physical and mental abusers that we see now. This sort of practice wasn't the norm in Paul's day and we should focus on thos parallels also...

    So thanks for the encouragement and give me a week or two, maybe look at it right before Christmas whne we talk about the birth of Jesus and those tyope of narratives.

    Blessed!

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  16. All good stuff. Supt, will be looking for your marriage post.

    DM

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  17. The love of money is the root of all evil. For marriage to become a "deal" is unbelieveable. I am sorry but Mrs. Elin has known all along about Tiger's indicretions this time what was done in the dark finally came to the light. Ashley there is no reason why anyone should take a deal worth any amount of money to stay in a marriage. Gaining the world, but losing her soul is not worth 80,000,000 dollars. What example is being set for their children? I am so tired of the church lowering the standard and calling it "keeping it real" that is not "reality" the Word of God is the final authority and this is just another example of how far we as a people have strayed from the biblical foundation of marriage we are in trouble, but it's okay as long as we have material gain to comfort our worldy compromise then so be it. CHURCH ITS TIME TO RAISE THE STANDARD NO MATTER WHAT THE COST BECAUSE THE WORLD HAS TRULY LOST ALL MORALITY.

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  18. Anon12/9/09-12:23PM,

    I think you may have this twisted. 1- neither Tiger nor his wife have a profession of salvation, so our view of this issue as it pertains to them is not necessarily theological, but us being Christians can talk about things from a Christian world view and point of view and should be able to do that honestly without the condemnation that you seem to be comfortable with...that's another issue but Ashley NEED NOT feel condemned in any manner for her comments especially by someone who won't share their name and needs to stand behind anonymity.

    Secondly, you sound like a fundamentalist and I'm surprised that you think it's somehow "spiritual" to walk away from the marriage under any circumstance. Most of the old folk taught that marriage was until death whether it was enjoyable or not and no matter what happened.

    Third, This $80,000,000 is money earned DURING MARRIAGE, not during a prostitution session. In other words the money is a part of marriage, gained lawfully and legally and cannot be overlooked as a consideration...This is business and a consideration of grown folk that they are biblically and naturally entitled to conduct. Explain being BROKE to the kids, since you think this is such a bad example for them!!!

    Now you conclude by saying that the world LOST morality, I question did the world ever have it to begin with and have done quite a few posts on this blog discussing that particular issue. I suggest you come up to speed on that type of thing before making blanket statements that may have no basis in fact.

    Now, for the reader, I may have come down hard, only because I don't like a person that throws STONES and runs and hides like a punk! That's right PUNK!

    That may not sound too pastoral, but please pray for me. We're trying to have an open conversation and here's comes a CONDEMNER like he/she is the director of HUD, what is that???

    Learn how to build up the Saints instead of always tearing them down!

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  19. Ahhh, I was waiting for somebody to get me on this one :)

    To Anonymous: I'm curious to know do you believe that it is ok to leave your spouse because of infidelity? From a christian standpoint I believe that a marriage should be saved at all costs. I do understand that certain circumstances allow for divorce however; if both parties are willing to stay and work things out then they need to. Infidelity can be forgiven.

    In Tiger's case he is willing to pay $80,000,000 in order to save his marriage. Honestly, it might be extremely arrogant, and self absorbed of him but it's what he's willing to do and to be honest there is nothing wrong with that.

    Anonymous you said: "Its time for the church to raise its standard...," well you're right and the standard should be to stay in the commitments that we vowed before God to stay in. For richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health.

    Anonymous I'm saying this out of love but maybe you need to relax and evaluate biblically what God expects of the institution of marriage.

    Of course Pastor Burnett we're are waiting for the marriage post :)

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  20. I also believe that a marriage should be saved at all costs but the prenup thing is so absurd to me. If I love you enough to marry you with the thought of spending my whole life with you and have a family, why should money come into it? thats a setup for divorce if I ever saw one.

    What on earth has marriage come to, divorce also should not be so easy to get, what a farce!!!

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  21. Since we're talking about "secular" folks, then let me revert back to "secular" mode...I'd stay in a heartbeat. I figure he's got about 7 more years as a top golfer (maybe) before his "star" starts to fade. Once his "peak" is over and he starts to fade from the top golfing stats, then I'd take my children, the money and start my new life. Of course that's only if he continued his roaming ways after 7 years and there was still no trust factor. I think that's what Juanita Jordan finally did. Me personally, I would have acceptd no less than $100mil...I know it's only $20mil more, but I just like the way $100 mil sounds vs $80mil...LOL! Remember, I'm in "secular" mode!

    Honestly, I believe unless Tiger were to repent, and both him and his wife accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, then there's no real chance for this marriage to be saved as long as "money" is their gods. Tiger is on the throne in his own life, so it's all about TIGAH TIGAH TIGAH! He's all about "image" as evident in his new prenup deal. Afterall, what else would you expect from someone that calls themself a "cau-bla-asian!!" Help today Lord!!!

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  22. Hello Pastor Burnett. This is to go along with what Ashley McClain was saying. For 5 years I too have been married to a man that was previously married. I too have seen the Ringo 4 life videos on Marriage. I must be honest, They nearly scared the living daylights out of me! I talked to my husband about it, we had meetings with our pastor and I've even contemplating leaving my husband. I do not want to because we love each other dearly and are born again believers. I have read God's word concerning this and have slipped into a depressed state because I do not want to disobey the Lord. I too will be awaiting your piece on marriage.

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  23. I am absolutely shocked by your remarks Mr. Burnett. I posted on 12/9/09 and the only reason I posted anonymous was because for some reason my comment would not transmit with my name. I am by no means trying to condemn or hide. Like any other person I was presenting my opinion on the subject you posted. I visit you site regularly and find the post very insightful, but after you have called me a punk as a "pastor" I will no longer be reading or looking at your website. That was completely unnecessary. Biblical I never said the marriage should be dissolved. How can you even tell someone that thinks that taking money despite the spiritual implications to the marriage is somehow okay. Again I am shocked. Even though salvation may not be a part of Tiger Woods life, there are still spiritual implications behind this entire situation and other public exposures of extramrtial affairs. Be blessed "Pastor Burnett" it saddens me that you would respond to my post in such a disrepectful way.

    My name CHETEACH Indianapolis, IN

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  24. CHETEACH,

    Thanks for your comments and my most sincere apologies to have offended you, however, it seems that there is a disconnect in the entire story,

    Elin wasn't "gaining the world", compromising or loosing her soul...she is considering what a spouse should consider if given the same circumstance. She didn't get her position by prostitution. You make is seem as if her considering the monetary impact of the marrige is ungodly and you approached it dogmatically. That was uncalled for.

    Secondly, noone here has strayed from a biblical foundation (as you suggested) in addressing this issue or formulating or presenting an opinion. Once again the type of condemnation you presented was unecessary...

    So far as "punk" was concerned, thank God you're not one, but I DO KNOW some that do similar things....So my apologies for the offense and saying that but since you're not one it doesn't apply to you!

    So hopefully you'll continue to read and I'll say something to help restore your confidence even somewhat.

    I deal with alot of people and too many are afraid to talk about subjects like these because of fear that someone will think of them less spiritually. As I stated in the article, I didn't want those type of considerations in the commentary. People have a right to talk things through and honestly ask and discern what is true and good.

    You don't know what some of the other readers are facing in their lives....They need to know, there is more than one dimension to a marriage and one can't mmake all decisions based on one aspect. If you do so you'll damage yourself.

    To your point, thanks for the correction. I've got broad shoulders!

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  25. To Anonymous:

    Just in encourage you. I understand how you felt after looking at Ringo 4 Life's youtube videos. My husband and I even argued about it because we certainly are people who do not want to live unrigteously before the Lord.

    I prayed about what I heard and the spirit of the Lord allowed me to see that Ringo himself is a false prophet who completely misinterprets scripture.

    I know that we are awaitng Pastor Burnett's blog on this matter but I would tell you to really seek God in this matter instead of listening completely to what man has to say. Whatever the spirit of the Lord tells you to do than be obedient to the voice of God.

    Stay encouraged!

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  26. I'll have the marriage post ready right after Christmas. Until then may all of you have a blessed and wonderfully Merry Christmas! With Jesus we've all got the BEST gift and the ONLY gift that matters!

    Pastor H. Burnett

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  27. Anonymous,

    There is nothing in the word that says leave your husband if he cheats......lol. It does say that it is a valid reason for divorce though. So, I know that God would not be mad at me if I stayed.

    As a woman, knowing all of this is going on with your husband it would be hard to even be in the same room with him (just my opinion as a woman), but that $80,000,000 would be a STRONG incentive to get over my personal feelings. Who knows if within the time frame that I am fulfilling all these professional wifely duties, that I dont fall back in love with him and our marriage mends? Could happen:)

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  28. Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year. I finished the marriage post, take your time, read and let me know what you think.

    There's much more that could be said but I think it's a good start. I plan to be more specific in the comments as they come up if need be. Be blessed.

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  29. Searchingfortruth,

    You said:"Please go there you will be blessed and informed based totally on rightly divided scripture"

    What does this say? The information here isn't? Please expound on your encouragements.

    In the meantime this is what the pastor that you are referring to teaches:

    He says that "whatever happens in the marriage bed between husband and wife is fine"

    Is this biblical? Is this based on rightly divided scripture? I'll tell ya now that's no place close to scripture. Example: Husband and wife agree to polyamory. Is that an agreement? YES. Is that within marriage? YES. Is that biblical...NO!

    He says, "I'm not just necessarily a missionary position man, I'm not telling you what to do but there are far more exciting things that you can do as husband and wife?"

    OK, does that need to be said in teaching on marriage? Is that biblical insight or teaching? Where's the chapter and verse for that?

    This was in just the first 10 minutes of listening to his marriage series. now the problem I have is exalting anyone who tells everyone to stop reading everybody else, and at the same time listen to them.

    BTW: He says another thing about the time when he was teaching in marriage counseling years ago. In this he was talking to young folk PREMARRIAGE giving them advice. This is what he says:

    "Yea I think that you need to pet with a person, i said I wouldn't marry any body that wouldn't kiss me right, ammm, because I'm a kisser, I just like kissing. And ammm, I would, y'u-know I would go by and visit Lucy and I'd , come here let me kiss you, and she kissed pretty good, I liked it made me feel goose bumps and everything, I said ooh I liked that. But one of the thing we said is that there would be no, no fornication no fornication at all. See this is God's way

    OK IS that bible? Does not the scripture say this?

    Proverbs 6:27 ~"Can a man take fire in his BOSOM, and his clothes not be burned?"

    So according to this Pastor, if you're engaged, we can "pet", just don't fornicate??? Is that really sound advice for the youth of your church? This man may be a good man I'm sure but I'm sorry, as I listened, the erroneous teachings kept adding up and I deleted your recommendation. I can't recommend confusion.

    Email me and I can point you to the SPECIFIC parts of his podcasts where he says these things.

    Thanks and I hope that when we get into a full teaching on marriage that you'll be around for some sound and biblical advice.

    Thanks.

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  30. BTW, I found out what the man's problem was...he is SPIRITLESS...doesn't believe in the Holy Ghost and condemns those that do...

    So Searchingfortruth you can keep those references to yourself...they can't help me or my readers in any way shape or form...First he needs to actually BELIEVE the word that he says he's so much on, then we can correct his horrible errors.

    It's easy to recognize taht he doesn't believe in holiness...so if you know him as him to give a dissertaion on Heb. 12:14!

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