Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Sexual Abuse & Rape...Very Real

Sexual abuse and rape are very real and life altering events that occur in the life of all too many men and women. According to I Am My Brother's Keeper Christian Advocacy Council 
* 1 In 7 men have been sexually molested 
* 25% Of women have experienced sexual abuse
* Less than 30% of sex crimes are reported
* 80 - 90% of sex offenders assault people they know 
These statistics are thought to be much worse because the majority of sex crimes go unreported. 
"As most children do I kept quiet because I didn't know if this was caused by something that I was doing. Plus I didn't want my mother to get upset with me because I knew that she really cared about this individual."
Tami Roman
Such was the case of former Basketball Wives star, Tami Roman. One could never tell that Ms. Roman, a self described "fighter", also the former wife of former NBA star Kenny Anderson (there are a lot of "formers" here), former runner up in a Ms. Black California Pageant and former "Real World" star, is also a former victim of rape and molestation that went unreported for years. 

As found in a 2012 article of Real Health Magazine, According to Ms. Roman, now 44, she was kidnapped at age 21, raped, and held captive for 4 days before her captors let her go. This was a sad followup to a childhood in which molestation took place at age 8 by her mother's then boyfriend, who was in the home and took advantage of her, when her mother would leave for work. 

At the height of "Basketball Wives", one of the noticeable things about Tami's personality on the show was her ability to bully and be brash. That began when she was much younger as a sort of defense mechanism:
"I became defiant and rude and acted out in school. My mother knew there was something wrong, but I just explained things by telling her I didn't like this man, I didn't disclose why." 
For Tami, therapy was an important path to helping her heal from these very tragic and life changing events. 
"I have to say that I did not know that my deep rooted anger or the way I deal with people stemmed from these things and the fact that I was holding them in for so many years. That didn't come out until I started therapy"
The Silence & Isolation Of Abuse

I have often said that a person is victimized a second time by the silence of those who could help, but fail to do so. I certainly yet hold to that premise and will continue to deal with my advocacy for those who suffer from sexual abuse and molestation as a result of their relationship with the church and religious institutions, and especially those who have suffered within my church, the Church Of God In Christ, Inc. Memphis, TN.  

However, I want to take special time to minister to those individuals who come across this blog who may think that their life is over because of these atrocities. I want to say, your life is NOT over and you mean something to God.  The critic says if you meant something to God, he would have stopped this from happening. The fact is that bad things happen to all people, even very good people, all the time. If there can be found any strength, it is in the fact that what happened to you did not kill and or destroy you.  Because it did not and could not do that, you are already an overcomer and made stronger than you ever imagined. 

As I present this article, I am aware that abuse and molestation has no age boundaries and healing has no time limits. As a result of abuse, many have had to struggle with serious issues about one's own sexuality and even sexual identity. I know the path and the road has not been easy. Healing is a lifetime process.

Reconciling the issues of self-worth and assessing one's own self-value may be the proposition and effort of one's life. These facts are often underestimated when it comes to sex and sexual abuse. The prevailing thought is that, "it was just sex"...but it was not "just sex". It was a violation of your being, both physically and spiritually. 

As the abused, or as the family of a victimizer, who often are overlooked, you didn't ask for the hand that was dealt to you. Although the selfish acts of another has damaged you in the wake, you have been given the ability to overcome anything that has been sent your way. Some of you may not be religious. Some may not have ever called on God or trusted in anyone or anything that you couldn't see with your eyes. that's OK, God loves you for who you are, and he loves you so much that his intent towards you is not to leave you as you were.

Healing, You Deserve It

First, don't wast any time trying to convince anyone of your pain. Having to convince others of your pain and victimization and that you are not right mentally or physically, and that you have experienced nothing less than a life changing and life altering event such as this, is one of the most damaging parts of the healing processes. That effort alone can continues to set you back and causes you to relive the pain of abuse over and over. You can be free and deserve your freedom.

John 8:36 ~ If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

Second, get a spiritual foundation underneath you. Life is not meaningless and to everything under the sun there is a purpose. The intellectual has lost sight of the fact that there is a transcendent reality. If not, then all is without meaning and suffering is merely suffering alone and without purpose. However, in reality, and with Christ, that is not the case. In Christ Jesus, we have a high Priest who is "touched with the feeling of our infirmity" Repair the damage spiritually.

Romans 10:10 ~ For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

Recenter and refocus. it may be time for a new circle of friends once this information is out in the open. Abuse tends to tell a person that somehow they are not deserving of liberation or freedom from pain. That is a trick of the enemy. Do not deny yourself the refreshingness of being around people to whom you can relate and who will continue to apply the healing salve of Christ in the beauty and glory of holiness. From this moment on you can live your best life. Now as a scheme to get or gain wealth, but as an overarching life premise in the seat of your soul. You have the rest of your life to live so live it reaching out and helping others overcome what you have made it through.        

2 Cor. 5:17 ~ Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Share Your Story

Personally, I would like to hear your story. I may even feature it here or on the I Am My Brother's Keeper site so that others will be encouraged and inspired. You may save not only yourself and your most close loved ones, but countless individuals who are sitting on the edge wondering if there is any hope.

Feel free to share your story in the comments section or anonymously via email at or Thank you.


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Sunday, February 16, 2014

Is The Euthyphro Dilemma Really A Dilemma For Christians?

The Question: Is Good Good Because It Is Good, Or Is Good Good Because God Says It Is Good?

From CARM Ministries, the summary of the problem and the answer:  


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Babies & Morality...What Are The Real Implications Of Current Findings?

Anderson Cooper's 360 on CNN has recently taken off on this presentation that 60 Minutes did a couple of years ago when they examined studies on the foundation of human morality at Yale University's Baby Lab. This reintroduction of this material has gotten all kinds of attention and commentary and thoughts are all over the board on this one. 


This is somewhat of a trick question, but, is it even possible to be moral or to distinguish good form evil without God?

Enter the Baby Lab of Yale University

The Baby Lab sets forth scientific information, not spiritual information nor information that is designed to support one dogma or another. The scientists clearly believe in evolution and the evolutionary path, but their findings can be interpreted in a different sense as well. Here's the vid:

As I stated, this is a trick because we can never be or have never been truly "without God". God is present even in the life of an atheist to the extent that the presence of God cannot be removed from his creation or the earth as we know it. At the root of the question however, is does one need God, in the sense of saving faith, to be moral or to distinguish good from evil? 

My answer to this complex question has always been NO. One can be good, moral and distinguish evil from good ONLY because God has built the ability to distinguish good and evil in us as people, so that we are without an excuse for the path that we have chosen at the end of the day. 

Now, there is a perversion of this called "human morality". This is the type of morality that humans establish to prove that they are "better" than God and have higher values. While these attempts arguably fail miserably (because it's like a child crawling in the lap of his mother to slap her in her face and tell how how to take care of babies) We can say that men without God have established their own twisted and perverted sense of what is right and wrong, supposedly rooting that in what they call "rational thought". 

In the world of so called "rational thought" the concept of God and the boundaries that come with religion in general, restrict truth and make discovering truth more difficult. See, according to them, in this world, we should allow everything to and let as thou wilt...y'u-know, all those satanistic values that Anthon LaVey restrictions, no boundaries, but whatever one's will is, that's what one should hedonism...Well that's well and good until someone does what they wish that isn't in accord with your wishes...

Bottom Line
Whether God is acknowledged or not God has communicated certain attributes to man and mankind. Moral and freewill choice being a couple of them, that we can exercise whether we accept HIS reign in our lives or not. In other words, the gift of life and choice between right and wrong does not simply go away because we choose evil. Although we are powerless to "save ourselves" we are able to make a choice freely based on how we are created. 

The Materialist Conundrum: 

If God does not exist and we are merely material or products of natural processes it is impossible to know or distinguish good from evil. Why? It is really rather simple...It goes something like this: 

If we are truly and only products of the material realm, by what process can we ever arrive at morality? Material, rocks, dirt, trees and anything else known as material matter makes no moral assumptions and has no moral values other than the values ascribed to them by human agency for whatever reason that might be. There is no moral position of a rock or material even if acted upon by chemicals and water over time...Morals are not what is called inherent in material mater. So the whole process of evolution, if one believes in evolution, cannot get out of the gate...on top of this, the moral question of materialism becomes a futile effort. 

Morals exist in humans and unlike that of apes and rats (atheists go so low on the chain of life to make comparisons when they hear things like this) Human values do not only promote the species, they fulfill life and cause life to be and become what it is. Interestingly, humans, undertake moral values and questions, on the shoulders of God, not in spite of God. God is the principle that provides the distinguishing factors of truth and the ability to distinguish between good and evil. There is no materialistic mechanism for this in any sense.

Ultimately Speaking... 

Under a truly materialistic paradigm, good and evil receive the same reward. They are merely built in premises that a person is bound and destined to follow fatalistically. Like the Matrix, all individuals are simply acting out their program. Atheist Alex Krauss says, "all physics are deterministic". This means that nothing acts randomly, not even thoughts. In the deepest sense, there is no choice or freewill under materialism. The mind is set from birth. This, by design, excludes any intervention of God to any degree in life's equation. However, it also strips one of any ultimate culpability for their actions in any sense. Duties are only to self or a close group or community, never to any ultimate authority. 

If there is no God, in the most deep sense, all actions are justifiably equal. The raper and robber are as good as the hero and the law abiding citizen.

Thank God that materialism is FALSE! 

The Sin Nature:

Having worked with children in a child daycare for 16 years as a profession, I can readily and easily see the sin nature at work in children at a very young age. What we find the doctors revealing is that a "sin nature" exists. They call it being selfish. The "us vs. them" mentality that these researchers reveal by the behaviors of certain children are the byproduct of sin in our hearts. Any bigotry and racism as outlined are as a result of the fall and our human values after the fall.

This is why man need a savior. Babies can't distinguish these things. However just as God distinguishes them, and men observe the actions, God knows what exists. Form a very early age, we can see that children identify what is right and what is wrong. What they do with that is their freewill even at that age. Interesting. 

Certainly these things will continue to be talked about for generations, and rightfully so.


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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I'm Baaack!

Are you still saying "Happy New Year" to some members of your church? 

Well, I know the readers of this blog have been wondering where I have been and what has been going on...So Happy New year to you too! 

I have taken on some new duties, responsibilities and the schedule has been heated up...I decided with all that is happening to take somewhat of a break from writing, but Oooooohhhhh my...don't think for a second that I have not been busy examining the changes within out community and nation with plenty of insight from the Lord on what is happening both in the church and within society...There is plenty to fight, advocate and stand up for and God and his people are certainly on the move. 

So Much To Pray For...So Little Time

Since my last post in Nov. of 2013, much has happened...We have probably had the most extensive winter than we've seen in years, and in some cases American history...Our poor folk in Atlanta can't function with a couple of inches of snow on the ground and would probably go off the map if 4 to 6 inches of snow fell...Current expectation is that an inch of ice will continue to paralyze the South. We are certainly praying for all them that were injured and for the families of those who lost their lives in the most recent storm and for the safety of them that are preparing for another round of winter. 

I know that there is a great deal of upheaval in the world. We have a civil war in Syria, the advancement of the Palestinians who have never had a nation or been a people, and all kinds of international uprisings and such the like. 

Then, there is the advancement of the homosexual agenda in America both through the courts and by this President and the Democratic Party in general...
Is there ANY REASON that a believer in Christ should vote democratic in the next Presidential election? 
I can't think of ONE THING that the Democrats have done and stand for that represent my interest or the interests of most Americans that I know....I actually can't think of anything that the democrats believe in that attracts me as a Black man with a family and the head of my household. Not ONE! Certainly the Republicans aren't exempt or just get a pass either...They have done and are doing their fair share of damage too...Well maybe that's just me....

Isn't it special that the only way that the homosexual agenda can advance is through the courts and by weak legislatures who overlook the will of the people? We all understand that the "will of the people" can be wrong and that "might" does not necessarily make right. People, through their "might" can choose a path that disenfranchises groups of people. I dare say that slavery is one of those kind of things. Noone understands this sort of sentiment better than those who have studied and lived through the Civil Rights era. However, what we are talking about is normalizing and ultimately endorsing "behavior" as opposed to inherently obvious diversities that cannot be worn off or changed through behavioral modification or by any other method. 

Look at it this way, Black cannot be "silenced" nor suppressed and it is obvious for many to see who is Black and who is White...How a person has sex or who a person loves, cannot be known until a person acts upon their feelings or inclinations. This is a vast and marked difference which makes all the difference in the world. This is forever why the fight for sexual acceptance will never been in the same league as the fight for racial parity and acceptance. 

Back to politics...Look at it, in almost every situation where gay normalization has been before the PEOPLE either by referendum or some other public vote, (not the sick legislatures who violate the will of the people whom they have been elected, commissioned and charged to represent,) gay normalization has been rejected. Yet, legislators continue to pass laws in favor of the homosexual agenda, for fear of being demonized and shamed publicly. In most cases, the demonization doesn't come from their elected comes from organizations that claim to stand for "human rights" such as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and Lambda Legal and such like who, from a distance, seeks to shame those who don't hold their values. 

Standing for something, may cost popularity, but this is America and taking and making a stand is a courageous thing to do and something that should be done at all costs when that stand is for truth and righteousness. 

What of Sochi?

This whole attempt to "shame" can be felt around the world. I believe that if we look close enough we will find that HOMOSEXUAL advocates proliferated the lie that Sochi would be the worst and most dangerous Winter Olympics filled with terrorism...I am not so enamoured that I look beyond the atrocities of Russian Communism, however, separated from that, I believe that homosexual advocates deliberately tried to instill fear and even sabotage the games in general. Why? Because Russia (as I said, criticize the Communists all you want) had enough NERVE to stand and condemn homosexuality as a lifestyle and as a human right in their country.... For that I say KUDOS RUSSIA!....As former KGB leader President Putin expressed, no one is trying to lock anyone out, no matter their sexual preference or practice, but the proclivity of a person doesn't change society and neither will it change their laws. Do what you do out of the public eye. I believe that after years of decline, Russia understands that whatever society is allowed to practice, so is society and so goes society. Although I can't say that the Church has had any influence on the governmental position on the issue, I do know that the Russian Christian church has been on an upswing. I can only pray that that upswing works according to God's word and brings liberation and peace to millions. 

It seems as if no one was intimidated by America insulting the Russian's by sending Billie Jean Lesbian King as an American representative to a country that doesn't allow the open practice of homosexuality. This was a shameful and disrespectful act and only shows a lack of character that has seemed to embrace this country's elected leadership....Like they said on Fat Albert, the President's actions were like, school on Sunday...NO CLASS! This is and will continue to be an important issue I'm sure.  

What Of Religion In America?

The religious front is filled with all sorts of action over the last few months. From folk eating grass "in the name of the lord" (their lord- NOTHING to do with the true and living God) to all sorts of new debates over the compatibility of religion and science one can expect that nothing has slowed down in this so called "scientific age of enlightenment"....

This debate is even commonplace on America's most watched TV shows. While watching a recent Cop show, a character stated an atheist theme song that "faith is believing in what is irrational while claiming rationality" I couldn't believe my ears at first. I said, wait a has nothing to do with irrational belief...(except for in the mind of a caveman). A simple proof of that is that we BELIEVE that folk have minds and can and will change or act or follow and outlined path of behavior that is set before them...we BELIEVE that prisons will cause criminals to reconsider therefore curbing crime, we BELIEVE that our friends will come to our rescue when we are really in need. Are any of those "beliefs" all of which remain to be proven, irrational? Simply put, faith has nothing to do with irrationality. Rather, rank and ultra skepticism displays itself to be irrational. Having or needing a proof for what already is, IS an irrational approach to nearly anything and everything. 

Example, do we need a proof as to why a car engine starts when it is built properly? Then further, do we hold that because we can explain how the engine works, that it has not been built? To come to an understanding of how something functions, and then to believe that because we understand it, that there are no higher principles at work, is an irrational position and presumption. These sort of things are irrational belief systems in action, and sentiments of this sort exist among many of the modern atheists and God haters...Yes, they claim they don't hate God, because they "claim" he doesn't exist, but we KNOW the truth... They are HATERS! Sins have blinded their eyes and filled their hearts with hatred against the one that gives them both breath and life to display their hatred...So true!

Then What Of The Church?

Now, to be fair, there is still plenty of self inflicted damage that the church has done and is doing to itself...For example, my goodness...My church, the grand ole COGIC has yet failed to adequately deal with the healing of victims of sexual abuse. Although we are setting new procedures in order to collect money and secure the fees of credential holders, we have YET to produce a national plan or program that address the pain that victims have suffered as a result of the sins and perversion of some of those who have been entrusted to leadership. Here is the outline of my plan that I will continue to push as long as the Lord gives me strength to do so. 

The Catholic church continues to experience the revelation of cover-up after much as they would like to "pretend" and see the world at "peace" I guess even the Seagulls and Crows know as long as
they ordain priests and leaders with suppressed gay and pedophile feelings, that there can be no peace....

Now, by revelations that are confounding congregations all across America, Bishops and Pastors yet continue to come up with "lust children"...They are those children born out of wedlock and due to adulterous affairs of these leaders years ago. Now, these children are suddenly suddenly showing up, demanding rights and attention....Oooh Yes, I am sick of it too, but don't be fooled, and don;t get it twisted. The women who in many of these cases, think that they are on a "righteous mission" by exposing these men, and even in some cases, used sex as a way to make money and a source of income from preachers and weak leaders, are just as bad as the preachers who fell into their arms...Don't think for a minute that a person "exposing" these bishops and leaders deserves any kind of pat on the back...Some of them were whores laying with whore-mongers. They get no reward for exposing the preachers, and as they do they expose themselves too! More on that in another writing....

So yes, much has happened and much more will happen. Glad to be back and for all the haters and debaters, there will be much more in this coming year to hate and debate over, but in the end...JESUS and them that follow HIM...WIN!


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