Reflecting on the statements of Bishop Talbert Swan in THIS POST as he addressed a particular Elder that had a sharp critique of his message, brought my mind back 180 to the issue of church related abuse and advocacy for survivors of such abuse.
The Anatomy Of Abuse
Abuse has a plot, or pathway that must be undertaken. That plot exists regardless of the type of abuse. Both sexual or nonsexual abuse follow similar paths...The perpetrator seeks to exalt themselves, while simultaneously demeaning his victim and others that could be positioned to assist. Abuse is often interpreted initially as bullying, and certainly may have elements of bullying, but goes a step further into consistent derision of character and downgrading the character, intellect and personal ability of the subject.
Then...there is the theme of abuse which is delivered on the basis of multiple lies...the lie is that the perpetrator has great power, insight and authority, and that authority is inescapable and is the final word on the issue. The lie that, as the Borg say, "resistance is futile"..."no one will believe you"...then the lie of lack of self sufficiency, that the victim can not make it on their own and their efforts are not enough to create self sustainability.
Then, within the structure of abuse, the abuser must capture and diminish the psychological strength of the victim. The abuser wishes to live rent free in the mind of their victim. The goal is to create a false sense of connection that the abuser then uses to deprive the victim of any sense of value or self sustainability. Most individuals that have suffered abuse and abusive behavior struggle with feelings of adequacy(self esteem), anxiety and trust. This is by design of the abuser, because the abuser wants his victims to "trust" him above everyone else and feel as if they can't make it on their own or at the very least without the approval of the victimizer.
Church Related Abuse?
Yes, this type of abuse is solidly within the church. The problem is that most individuals abused can't discern their abuse, nor decipher the actions of their abuser in many cases. Many tend to write abusive behavior off to "personal preference". What makes this even more pervasive, is that many abusers within the church are persons of otherwise good behavior and personability, but have learned abusive behaviors from others and have come to emulate the abusive behavior to which they were exposed. They implement the abusive behavior that they were taught, which in most cases was affirmed to them as the "right way" to do things.
According to current studies, 95% of all abusers use psychological tactics to perpetrate their abuse and their victims are 3.5 times more likely to abuse others in a similar manner. ~ NIH 2019
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